Tone of voice - too familiar or too formal?
Good sales letters should ALWAYS read like a face-to-face dialogue. But, like a face-to-face dialogue with someone you don't know, you need a certain amount of restraint.
You wouldn't walk into an unfamiliar boardroom, slap the Chairman on the back and shout: "Hey, how're you doing, mate?" then give them a great big bear hug.
In the same way, you shouldn't be TOO familiar when it comes to writing sales letters to people you don't yet know.
Having said this you don't want to appear as if your sales letter has been written on parchment with a quill pen.
So it's a case of finding a business-like middle ground between being too familiar or too formal.
Call it a business-like informality if you wish. 'Dear Mr Bloggs' instead of 'Dear Jim' or 'Dear Sir'.
We herewith enclose...
Today I saw a sales letter complete with 'My Ref', 'Your ref' and an almost military-style layout. It looked more like a legal document than a sales letter. And the tone swung violently between the ultra-formal and far-too-familiar.
The best way to be sure of getting the middle ground is to picture yourself sitting opposite your reader. How would you talk to them? Write like you talk!